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Hi Alya, thanks for your participation. Your ideas are good but you need to develop them in order to write a whole article / letter. Your essay should contain three main parts: the introduction or the topic sentence, which is your main idea and point of view. Here, you can say that “video games have various disadvantages which one must be careful with.” Your sentence “it’s true that video games improve players’ reflex and intellect them, but spending much time playing also has a negative side” is also acceptable. Here, you are showing that although video games have advantages, they have negative impacts, so it can be your topic sentence. Then, you start presenting your arguments that prove why video games are not advised. You can state three arguments. After stating each one, you give examples that strengthen your point of view. Another note that you should pay attention of is that you are writing a letter. So, start it with “dear friend (or you can choose the name you want)”. Use linkers to have a logical coherence and smooth transition between your arguments. Please pay attention to your grammar, tenses and punctuation. Try not to make long sentences. English is about precise and concise sentences. Finally, you sum up your letter with a concluding sentence that summerizes what you have said.
Some mistakes:
-to advice: to advise
-to stop spend: to stop spending
-spending may hours and many times: spending much time
-video games they make addiction: video games make you addicted / video games result on addiction.
-this disadvantages causes of neglecting your studies,family and friends.: therefore, you neglect your studies, family and friends.For further explanation and better exampls, you can watch our course “How to write an argumentative article?”. You will find three samples of argumentative essays, with useful links and expressions. Here is the link https://www.kademia.tn/lecons/lesson-4-how-to-write-an-argumentative-article/
Thanks, I’m waiting for your answer !
🙂
